ENTER SANTORUM

WOW... I'm amazed that we live in a time where you can get on the internet while on an airplane, but one of the top 3 presidential candidates is inaccurately basing his morality on a book that was written over 2,000 years ago. Let's really think about that for a second.   First of all, lets assume, for argument's sake,  that everything in the bible is the truth, the light, the direct word of god etc... -There is no mention of contraception OR abortion in said bible!!! Also, let's take into consideration that if we are going to assume that the bible is something we should base our morality on, then we are subsequently endorsing the idea that it's okay to own slaves, kill our own children, subjugate women, stone people to death etc... I guess it's not that shocking that there are stupid-ass people out there who think like Rick Santorum. But I'm totally astounded that we, as a country, have decided that Rick Santorum is one of the top 3 choices to become the (pretend) leader (mascot) of the most dominant country in the world.  Seriously... -What the fuck??  This is real?? This is the world we live in?

-Oh, and by the way; this is the same piece of shit who criticized the president for wanting everyone in America to have the opportunity to attend college. -Brilliant.

ANDREW BREITBART DEAD. GOOD RIDDANCE

When somebody dies, it's expected that you say a bunch of nice stuff about the person. As far as I could tell, Andrew Breitbart was a horrible, horrible, miserable cunt, who's life I can't really justify celebrating. The world is already  filled with enough loudmouth right-wing douchebags; I'm sure we'll manage somehow without this one. 

RACISM HALL OF FAME/ HOT ASIAN GIRL Du JOUR

If you want to see Republicans' eyes light up like a kid's on Christmas morning, you'll show them a way to lie to people about the effects of conservative economic policy AND belittle an ethnic minority at the same time. If only he was able to drop a 'C'-bomb (Chinamen) in there somewhere, he would have hit the hat-trick. Good lookin out! -Holler at your boy Pete Hoekstra, -He luv you longtime.

FOR THOSE OF YOU LOOKING FOR RAP SONGS ABOUT NEWT GINGRICH...

Your search is over...

WHAT THE FUCK IS HE TALKING ABOUT?

I blatantly stole this from our peoples over at Super Duty Tough Work.  I just couldn't resist the urge to keep the Cain Train rollin'!  TOOOT-TOOOOOOOOOTTT!! ALL ABOARD!

TIM HEIDECKER'S HERMAN CAIN CAMPAIGN ADS

I used to think Heman Cain was a total fucking moron, but now that I see Tim Heidecker is backing him I'm starting to reconsider my position.  Toot Tooooooot!! All aboard the Cain train!

NEW! HERMAN CAIN X APPLE X LORDS OF APATHY X SUPER DUTY TOUGH WORK SCREENSAVER!

(Click image to enlarge, then drag file to your  desktops/ 

screensavers folder and get your muthafucking shine on.)

I know it's been a hot minute since I blessed you guys with a gangster-ass LOA screensaver so (whoomp/ whoot) here it is! I'd like to take this occasion to make a few statements: First off, I want to congratulate the leading Republican presidential candidate, Herman Cain, on his mindboggling streak of saying some of the dumbest sentences in the history of verbal communication. -Respect.

 

And, last but not least, I'd like to give a mega shout-out to our peoples over at the OG Super Duty Tough Work blog. Game recognize game, -you guys are killing it. Check them out and visit regularly. -This is fucking incredible!!

HERMAN CAIN'S GREATEST HITS

What can I say... The man is a genius!  I'm not even being sarchastic here; to be able to exponentially outdo yourself every single day is fucking incredible!  What this man has achieved over the last 2 months is astounding.  It's the equivalent of Einstein coming up with the theory of relativity on monday, building a time machine on tuesday, and going back in time and stopping 9-11 on Wednesday (and so on and so on) .  Every day, I hear soundbites from this guy and I think to myself "Wow... that's possibly the dumbest shit I've ever ever heard".  And then, like clockwork, the next day he completely blows the previous statement out of the water.  If Michael Jordan was on Herman Cain's level, in the arena of saying increasingly dumber and dumber Republican talking points, he'd have like 60 Championship rings right now. Bow down to the greatest of all time; Herman Cain is a motherfucking GOD!

Bigotry and xenophobia are like apple pie and baseball:

The irony to end all ironies:

This is how a conservative wins a debate. -BOO-YAAAA

This is raw uncut lack of inteligence 

HERMAN CAIN: REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE

John Lennon is on a 5-speed turbo rotisserie rolling in his grave over this one. But real talk, imagine if there really WAS no pizza... -That would kindof suck.

(Also; sidenote: Is it just me, or is Yoko kindof racked-out in the Lennon link video?  Something to think about...)

REAL TALKER MIKE STARK

Here's the backstory on whats going on in this video.  There's a guy named Mike Stark who's taken his hobby of intellectually thrashing right-wing Republican talk show hosts (particularly Rush Limbaugh), and turned it into an fine art. By simultaneously providing the facts and taking a steaming dump on Republican talking points, as well as completely sonning him in front of his own audience, Stark is beginning to compile a portfolio of masterpieces.  Since Limbaugh absolutely loathes trying to match wits with an intellectual superior (someone who knows and confronts him with the facts), he resorts to the typical dishonest strategy of cutting the person off, talking over them, or scrambling to come up with any outlandish lie to try and refute reality. What's even more brilliant is that, not only has Stark figured out a way to disguise his phone number so that Limbaugh's producers are unable to know it's him, but he has also begun recruiting other people to call into the show and shit on him as well. Be sure to watch Rush's epic MELTDOWN/ temper tantrum he unleashes on one of his very own ditto-head fans after Stark's call.  (Watch him check his computer screen at what is certainly an instant message from his producer, apologizing profusely for letting Stark on the air...-again... -AWESOME)

For more outstanding real talk, check out Mike Stark's website Truth Ticker where he is compiling video and audio archives of his calls.

PIZZA PREZ...

...Because I want a president that can make a shitty pizza.

TIM PAWLENTY AKA YOSEMETE SAM

I absolutely loathe politicians and their disingenuous bullshit pandering. Listen to this human turd sandwich do his best Larry the Cable Guy impression in an attempt to cozy up to Joe-Moonshine before the 2012 presidential elections: Sickening....