The People vs. LeBron James

People are going ham on Lebron.

Now Clevelands main export isn't just crippling depression, it's also managed to export the best thing that's ever happened to them. I kinda feel Rayvon's pain. Not just because we are both black youth growing up in a white man's world, and not in the sense of me being sad that LeBron left, but the fact that I hate where I live and want people i like to come to Irvine and be depressed alongside me.



Come on guys, Cleveland is GARBAGE. GAAAAARBAAAAAGGE. Im sorry, but it's true. If I could go to a good ass team (no homo) and be on South Beach with hot tanned bitches with g-strings and eat those fluffy cuban pork sandwhiches with that tomato sauce all day... I would go too. So would you. All you LeBron haters are HATERS and you need hugs. Seriously, lets get serious.

Sorry Rayvon.
HOT GIRLS WITH NO CLOTHES ON > SHITTY TOWNS
MULTIPLE NBA CHAMPIONSHIPS > NO NBA CHAMPIONSHIPS EVER

LEBRON GOES TO MIAMI. SUCK IT KOBE.

A few quick points here: first off, despite not being a fan of the Yankees-style buying an out-of-the-box superteam approach, that has been the hallmark of modern sports, the Chris Bosh, Dwane Wade, Lebron James combo seems pretty dope to me right now.  On some level, it would have been cool if he had stayed in Cleveland and played the whole small market underdog thing for a while longer, but fuck it... If  it means that I get to watch the remainder of Kobe Bryant's prime years in the NBA end in crushing season-ending defeats, then it is well worth it.

To further illustrate how much of an incorrigible dildo Kobe is, and how cool Lebron seems in comparison, watch this:

WALLY SZCZERBIAK IS TERRIBLE AT BASKETBALL

Dude, seriously?... 2 wide open jumpshots resulting in 2 spectacular airballs. -In a closeout division finals playoff game no less... How about Lebron just have a random dude from the audience, who got picked to shoot the halfcourt shot during halftime, suit up in your stead... Odds are, he could at least hit the rim; and it'd be a vast improvement on the defensive end as well...

Fuck Cleveland and Fuck Lebron James

Despite the best efforts of David Stern and his rigged officiating, the Magic have taken a 3-1 lead on the Cavs. Lebron and the city of Cleveland can both suck it. Go Magic!

BEST COMMERCIAL EVER!

But still... Fuck Kobe.