LORDS OF APATHY

Showing posts with label Home of Josh Lazcano. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Home of Josh Lazcano. Show all posts

July 19, 2011

TOTALLY SHIT-FACED...(LITERALLY)

BEHOLD! LOA's 2011 Man of the Year, Luke Chrisco!  I don't care if it's only July, this dude has it locked up!

BOULDER, Colo. -- The man dubbed the "Porta-Potty Peeper" says he spied on at least 200 women in Boulder and hundreds more across the U.S. and Europe.  Luke Chrisco was arrested Thursday in Vail for hiding out in a portable toilet in Boulder to watch women at a yoga festival.  "I am like a hunter, a man watching a bird, " Chrisco told FOX31's Jim Hooley in an interview at the Eagle County Detention where he is being held after his arrest this week.  "I would see women on the street and just bow down to them, " Chrisco said. He says his favorite places to peep were restaurants in downtown Boulder and along the Pearl Street Mall. "I would go into stalls that were dark, away from cameras," the 30-year-old admitted.  Chrisco says one of his favorite places was the women's restroom at the Boulder Target.  "I'm a young guy, I don't look threatening. I would come out of the women's room and someone would say 'what are you doing?' and I would just walk away." Chrisco has shared his list of places he peeped with Boulder Police. Detectives have visited the businesses, warning them of possible peepholes.  "Our detectives have found peepholes. We don't know whether Chrisco drilled them or if they were existing peepholes," Kim Kobel from Boulder Police explained.  Chrisco is being held in Eagle County on a $1,000 bond. He faces charges of unlawful sexual contact.

LISTEN TO AN INTERVIEW WITH LUKE CHRISCO, 'THE PORTA-POTTY BANDIT'  HERE! THIS IS, BY FAR, ONE OF THE BEST, FUNNIEST, MOST FUCKED UP THINGS YOU'LL EVER HEAR!

April 24, 2011

November 24, 2010

DOG WITH CORNROWS

BEHOLD! The power of Google image search!  At times like this, I'm proud to be an American.  One moment I'm driving home from dinner wondering if anyone has ever given their dog cornrows (Although intuitively knowing someone has definitely given their dog cornrows), and a few moments later I'm all up in Google looking at a dog with not only cornrows, but dookie braids adorned with beads!  Technology is so fucking dope!

August 23, 2010

M.I.A.IS FUCKING SEXXXY

I've really been feeling this broad lately... I've never been 100% about her music, but I think she does some pretty original, interesting stuff.  I've never gotten with an Indian girl before (red-dot or feather) but they've always been high up on the exotic, boner jamz 'to-do' list. I've also got a secret thing for some middle-eastern hijab-wearing hotties ala that girl in the DiCaprio movie 'Body of Lies'. -More like 'Baby-Body'-(of lies)...-OOOWW!!  Kinda reminds me of the girl on the cover of Time magazine with her Nose chopped off. She looked like she would have been dope (pre nose-ectomy). Real talk.

April 26, 2010

HORRIBLE RAP TUESDAY: DENNY BLAZE (A.K.A AVERAGE HOMEBOY)

Denny Blaze is terrible at rapping.  His flow reminds me of those old illustrations of exotic animals done by someone who had probably never seen the animal they were drawing. It's like somebody described rap music to this dude but he never actually heard it.  He just dove right in and made a demo tape based on very limited information... Either that, or he's the person that writes the jingles for the 'Free Credit Report Dot Com' commercials. 

Also, check out Denny's remix and smoothed-out version of this same cut.

November 20, 2009

LORD STEVE POWERS

It's official. Our boy Steve Powers has joined forces with Lords of Apathy, making the world's most dangerous blog exponentially /esponentially more dangerous! We have been working on bringing a 'Josh Lazcano's Dark Corner' column to the blog for some time now, but our overtures were rebuffed on the grounds of blogging not being very goth or cynical. The last time I checked, getting spotted at Ikea was not very goth or cynical either, so I'll keep you guys posted... Anyways, Its an honor having a sarchastic, witty motherfucker like Steve on the squad. Welcome to the gang Steve...

GRAFFITI ART











Regular viewers of the Steve Powers Show know you can call me anything but a Graffiti Artist. I I hate the term more than phase 2 hates the g-word. I love that word graffiti, its everywhere I want to be: Illegal, unlawful, longing to be where it doesnt belong. And I think in 2009 graffiti serves the same purpose it did in 1969, to bring life to dead spaces- rusted trains, brown track sides, Starbucks bathrooms.  But when you go and slap the word art on the end of graffiti it denigrates both words. Graffiti is good at being graffiti, until it starts apologizing for itself. "I dont do graffiti, I do graffiti art"-like youre justifying it to your mom. If your mom likes your graffiti, you may already be falling off. I wrote graffiti between 1984 and 1999. It wasn't after getting a rep in two cities for it, or after writing a book on the subject, but only after I did a good piece in the Bronx that I felt I had done it all, and it was time to quit. I wanted to go away and be a toy again at something else, so I started making paintings. Terrible, terrible paintings. I was a bad artist, but I was making art. The definitions to me are real simple- Graffiti is an advertisement for yourself, art is an expression that exists solely to depict a life and time. That said, I think some graffiti can be art; A lot of what Blade and Reas have done qualifies to me. But unless you are in the gallery world, and preferably the museum world, you're in the wilderness and people can and will ignore you. I wont be ignored. I want to be in league with Matisse and Tom Sachs, the way I was with Cope 2 and Kadism. I know that the art world is a weird place with weird pretentious attitudes, but have you been to a graffiti-art show? psssshh.

In the 10 years since I picked up a brush, I must have done 25 gallery shows, plus many public art installations, its a pretty insane pace, but I'm learning on the job, trying to master the craft, and I felt way behind, being that I started getting serious about art as a 30 year old. Plus 2 year old malcolm needs new shoes, and those european joints look good on him. Lately I've been branching out from the fancy galleries towards spaces I call "beautiful losers" galleries; Smaller, hungrier, showing more young artists and selling more work at a  slightly lower price point than the bigger spaces.  In the last 13 months I have had 4 gallery shows and realized a 50 wall project in Philly. All total- 50 paintings and 50 walls. Thats some renaissance era output there (right down to the 30 assistants I had helping me), and definitely a large percentage of that work that will be identified as important, maybe my best. no homo. 

So all that said, I paint more now as a 40 year old artist with a kid than I ever did as a 25 year old vandal with no scheduling conflicts. Besides the motivation that a kid provides, I have a lot more inspiration to work with in art, theres only so much you can do with 4 letters, or so I thought. In the last year, it's been clear that no matter how long ago I quit, gallery people were insisting on adding ESPO as a middle name or an AKA when they were promoting me. Its been going on since 1999, but this year I started to embrace it. In Feburary in Brussels at Alice Gallery I wrote a bunch of tags inside and outside the gallery. The Philly project was one giant graffiti extravaganza, and I started adding tags into the paintings I make, as icons that represent me, but it went to another level last week in San Francisco at the White Walls Gallery. Justin Giarla, White Walls boss, booked an ad in Juxtapoz for my show as ESPO Exterior Surface Painting Outreach. I had no idea that he had done this until I got to the gallery ready to work. Beyond the weidness as being promoted solely as ESPO, the Exterior Surface Painting Outreach bit was an acronym I cooked up to get people to not call the cops when I was painting gates in NYC in 1997-98. So I busted Justin's balls about it, but only a little, because it's really my fault that I havent defined myself better, I've been too busy painting to get my press releases in order.  After we went back and forth about it for 2 days, I asked him, "can you sell more work if I'm ESPO?" he said yeah, so I went let ESPO out for a walk, and we started tagging the gallery.

Lo and behold what happened was really graffiti art. There was plenty of just signatures and style, but there was a lot of writing that depicted the life and times of our people. Nemel caught a tag and I turned his N into a caricature of him while his nemesis Kaves rains fists down on him and HOT HEAD holds a pistol on him. SKREW driving with coke on the dash (aka dash snow) ok, skrew's more of a beer and hoagies guy, but its a good visual joke. SLOB declaring war on west philly with a slim jim in his hand. After Nemel seemed to be slipping back into darkness, I caught a tag in one shot and a quill brush of his recently deceased IRAK team mate Dash with an upside down cross on home plate and Nemel with a bat in the batter's box. The best of all the graffiti art I did was this; Buck 50 came around the gallery a few times, I asked him to put his man KERSE up, but I asked him to bring his own marker. He never remembered to. Finally Puzl came thru, and on request, put up a half dozen Kerse tags. Buck showed up afterwards and I said, "ahh, it's cool, another seattle resident hooked up Kerse" Buck asked who, and when I told him he laughed, "oh no, we dont fuck with that nigga, is he in there now?" I said, "yeah, come say hi" and a minute later they were shaking hands and squashing some 15 year old graffiti beef. Later that night, close to the opening, the security guard, a long time sf veteran, asked what he should do about taggers. I said "dont let anybody go over anybody" He said "thats gonna be impossible, I mean if this guy (points to a buck50 tag) sees this guy (points to a puzle tag) its gonna be war". I said "well what if its like this?" and I pointed to where I drew a crossword with the solutions PUZL KYT shaking hands with a BUCK 50 represented by a Dollar and 2 quarters. Security Guard said "I would love that to happen, theres been way too much bullshit in SF for too long now". He left the room and me and puzle just raised our eyebrows and went back to work.


August 18, 2009

COCAINE USE CAUSED HEART DISEASE THAT KILLED BILLY MAYS (By Jay Money)


I guess the autopsy of the OxiClean guy showed that he was doing a bunch of cocaine. I guess that explains why that dude was always jumping around and getting super geeked about pretty weak stuff like cleaning products and some magic crayon that will take scratches out of your car. Coke’s something I never really fucked with all that much. For one, that shit’s super expensive. Two, by the time it gets to my neighborhood a bunch of Mexicans have already stepped all over it and cut it up with all types of different shit until there’s barely any coke in it anymore. And third, as a general rule I think any drug you snort or shoot is bound to cause major problems down the road. I guess that Keith Richards dude mixed his dad’s cremated ashes with coke and snorted it. Then his publicist was like, “No, he didn’t do that.” But I guarantee he did. I heard that Bush Jr. used to do a shit-ton of coke, too. Plus, think about it, if your dad’s the head of the CIA you’re going to be coming up on that un-cut, Colombian pipeline shit. I bet that dude was making ski-hill mounds out of that shit and burying his face in it Tony Montana style. Or making maps of the U.S. and snorting it up like Nick Cage’s brother in that movie “Lord of War.” I think the dude in that movie snorted up a map of the Ukraine, though. This dude at work was saying that if you rub a little coke on your tallywacker you can have sex for a real long time—it’s supposed to numb it or something. I remember this news story about a dude who shot cocaine into his tallywacker—like with a needle—and his junk shriveled up and fell off. Dude, yeah, I’m sure it seemed like a good idea at the time, but I bet that dude wishes he could get a do-over on that one.

June 15, 2009

JEALOUS MUCH?

Check out this ill GG Allin bobblehead I just kopped; -hands down the best investment I've ever made. Get off my nuts!!

June 5, 2009

HORRIBLE RAP FRIDAY: THE 'UNSTOPPABLE' LIL' KING...

I wonder if Lil' King is going to drop the 'Lil' ala (Lil') Bow Wow when he turns 16 or so, signifying that he's entering young adulthood. So what then? -just 'King'?... -How about Martin Luther King! That'd be swaggalicious! I always thought that Dr. King had a certain level of swag, that in many ways reminds me of Lil' King, so it only makes sense. OH SHIT-YEAH! -And the title of his first major label album could be entitled "I have a dream". The cover art would be like a photo of Lil' King -Sorry- Lil' Martin Luther King, in a race car bed with brightly colored all-over-print, diamond logo linens having a dream about owning both a Louis-bag and a Gucci-bag filled to the top with money! Yo! Lil' MLK- Get at me dogg! I want to manage your career son!

April 3, 2009

FRANK ZAPPA WAS A COOL MOTHERFUCKER

I actually don't know shit about Frank Zappa or his music, but based on this appearance on crossfire from 1986, I'm gonna say that he was a real motherfucking gangster. Straight OG status(Thanks Kingpin Ronin! good looking out.)

March 26, 2009

ACUOUSTIC REGULATORS... MOUNT UP

This was intended to be the regular version of 'Regulate' but after sifting through about 20 different 'Embedding disabled by request' videos on hatin'-ass YouTube; I had to settle for giving you guys an acoustic version by this dude from Alpha Kappa Delta. Enjoy...
If you're still trying to get your 'Regulate' on check out this chopped and screwed version.One more thing, I propose that Nate Dogg be on at least 30% of all rap songs for the remainder of 2009.

March 22, 2009

BLACK AND WHITE AND RED ALL OVER

I just happened to be hanging out in this random corner looking like 'the bomb' and thought you guy's would want to see what I'm wearing today. Aren't these Coach hi-tops just DIVIIIINE!!?? I'm Sooooo loving them! This black and white ensemble is FIERCE! -RRRROOOOOAAAARRR!

February 19, 2009

LAND OF CONFUSION.

I was just thinking the other day about how all the celebrities with fucked-up face plastic surgery reminded me of this video. These dudes should do an updated version of this with Kenny Rogers, Joan Rivers, Lil' Kim, Stallone, Mickey Roarke, Lisa Rinna, and that crazy cat-face lady.

November 30, 2008

GREAT MOMENTS IN REALITY TV HISTORY

These are not only great moments in reality TV history, but possibly the greatest moments in the history of mankind. God bless America and god bless my GOD WARRIORS Whoop WHOOOO!!!! (No homo)

August 20, 2008

Lion Mutilates 42 Midgets

Spectators cheered as entire Cambodian Midget Fighting League squared off against African Lion. Tickets had been sold-out three weeks before the much anticipated fight, which took place in the city of Kâmpóng Chhnãng. The fight was slated when an angry fan contested Yang Sihamoni, President of the CMFL, claiming that one lion could defeat his entire league of 42 fighters. Sihamoni takes great pride in the league he helped create, as was conveyed in his recent advertising campaign for the CMFL that stated his midgets will "... take on anything; man, beast, or machine." This campaign is believed to be what sparked the undisclosed fan to challenge the entire league to fight a lion; a challenge that Sihamoni readily accepted. An African Lion (Panthera Leo) was shipped to centrally located Kâmpóng Chhnãng especially for the event, which took place last Saturday, April 30, 2005 in the city’s coliseum. The Cambodian Government allowed the fight to take place, under the condition that they receive a 50% commission on each ticket sold, and that no cameras would be allowed in the arena. The fight was called in only 12 minutes, after which 28 fighters were declared dead, while the other 14 suffered severe injuries including broken bones and lost limbs, rendering them unable to fight back. Sihamoni was quoted before the fight stating that he felt since his fighters out-numbered the lion 42 to 1, that they “… could out-wit and out-muscle [it].”

Unfortunately, he was wrong.

July 17, 2008

SAN FRANCISCO RULES!

I have varying thoughts on the city of San Francisco. It fluctuates regularly between "FUCKING AWESOME!!" and "This place is a fucking nightmarish hell-hole". For the most part, I like San Francisco; if nothing else, that city has character. You'll see some shit you're not gonna see most places. Wether it's a fully nude 70 -year old man covered in tattoos riding a mountain bike, or 4 consecutive blocks of people smoking crack openly on the street at 2:30 in the afternoon, you're gonna see some wild-ass shit. Read below to Learn another fun fact about "The city by the bay": (And if you're extra bored click here To read some older posts that may or may not have something loosely to do with San Francisco.)San Francisco voters will be asked to decide whether to name a city sewage plant in honor of President Bush, after a satiric measure qualified for the November ballot today. Backers of the measure, who for several months circulated a petition to place the measure on the ballot, turned in more than 12,000 signatures on July 7, said organizer Brian McConnell. The Department of Elections today informed those supporters, the self-proclaimed Presidential Memorial Commission, that they had enough valid signatures - a minimum of 7,168 registered San Francisco voters - to qualify for the November ballot, he said. McConnell, who came up with the idea over beers with friends, often donned an Uncle Sam outfit to drum up support for the petition. Other signature gatherers - all volunteers - often carried around an American flag and blasted patriotic music from a boom box to attract attention. He said today that the campaign to pass the measure will be an equally grassroots effort.
The measure, if passed by a majority of voters, would rename the Oceanside Water Pollution Control Plant the George W. Bush Sewage Plant. McConnell said the intent is to remember the Bush administration and what the group sees as the president's mistakes, including the war in Iraq. Some people aren't laughing, including the San Francisco Republican Party, which sees the measure as an embarrassment, even to this famously-liberal city. Chairman Howard Epstein has vowed to fight the measure with all means available to him.A White House spokeswoman, when asked about the measure several weeks ago, refused to comment.

(Good looking out Josh)