One of my favorites... I wonder what he thought of the 'twitter revolution'....
May 29, 2011
May 28, 2011
Mark Gormley Takeover
I was just about to board the G6 for Soundset when Geddy Lee hit me on the two-way. The exact message was "DMD, look @ UTub to c 2nd cming (n/h)." He wasn't lying. I haven't heard vocals this haunting since "Moving Pictures." When the books are closed, M Dot Gormley is going to join the Beatles, Michael Jackson, Nirvana and Kreayshawn as the markers of sea changes in the music industry. Geddy Lee then asked if he could borrow a few bucks and I had to tell him Americanos don't help foreigners on Memorial Day Weekend.
May 27, 2011
May 26, 2011
Dolla Dolla Bill Y'all
Illinois state senator Christine Radogno (R - Lemont) ain't nuthin' to fuck with. As Illinois faces unprecedented debt, she unfolds the scroll of Wu-Tang wisdom and lets the Senate know WWRD (what would Raekwon do).
May 24, 2011
SMOKING DEAD PEOPLE...
WTF....?
Sanger, Texas... Four teenagers, including the police chief's son, broke into a funeral home. They had planned to steal embalming fluid, dip cigarettes in it and smoke them. But when they couldn't find any fluid, they decided to cut off the finger of a corpse and took turns trying to smoke it. (AP)
May 22, 2011
May 21, 2011
The Wait Is Over: Boozer and Twista Rip the Mic
Since signing with the Bulls in 2010, the streets have demanded that Carlos Boozer jump on the mic with Twista and Mario Winans. It's a natural for an Alaskan Duke graduate who once sued Prince to trade verses with Mr. Adrenaline Rush. The song is here and it's as great as you would imagine. Let me know how far you get before you have to turn it off.
I don't know what motivates NBA players to rap, but you would think that after hearing classic cuts from Kobe Bryant, Jason Kidd, Tony Parker, and Cedric Ceballos, these guys would leave the mic alone. Boozer sounds like he's rapping to a metronome here. He makes Richard Dent's verse on "Super Bowl Shuffle" sound like Kool G Rap's "Men at Work" in comparison. Also, who is he kidding about crossing people over, going to the hole and running back on D? We're talking about a guy who routinely blows layups and can barely jump over a nickel. Boozer hasn't run the floor in transition since 1997. At this point, I'd be concerned about Boozer's ability to handle Lisa Leslie in the post, let alone Udonis Haslem. The Bulls are paying Boozer $14 million this year. It's great that he has time to drop a hot 16, but can't drop 16 points on the Heat.
May 18, 2011
HORRIBLE RAP WEDNESDAY! NOLA BOUNCE EDITION
Whussup freaks. Here's your jam for the summer. Thank Uptown Crescent City for this masterpiece.
May 15, 2011
May 14, 2011
May 13, 2011
May 11, 2011
CHUD OR NO CHUD?: LUCY DAVIS
Here it is you sick fucks. Prepare to get your collective wigs peeled back as you try to wrap your disgusting minds around this special 2011 'Chud or No Chud' discussion. So seriously, -real talk; would you bone Dawn from 'The Office'? (note, this is the original BBC 'The Office', not the American one)
It is important to note that this is a tricky one, you might want to delve deeper into a google image search before you make your final verdict...
Good luck.
It is important to note that this is a tricky one, you might want to delve deeper into a google image search before you make your final verdict...
Good luck.
(Click image to enlarge)
A few rules for your evaluation:The chud-spectrum breaks down into 3 general categories: 1.Hot 2.Chud, and 3.Sub-Chud• The Hot category is a no-brainer. Everyone and their dad would hit that. -Think Gemma Arterton.• In the Chud category, there's a glimmer of something there. You can't quite put your finger on what it is, but most likely you'd put your dick on what it is- so long as that shit stays on Downlow. -Think Snookie.• Sub-Chud is pretty self explanatory; It's not happening...-EVER. No way, no how. -Think Greta Van Susteren. In the Comments section below, please leave your stance on where you think Lucy Davis falls on the chud-spectrum and site reasons for your decision. We will be scientifically compiling this data to come up with the official verdict as to weather or not she is indeed a chud or not. Good luck contestants!!
Chi-Town Anthem
I've been laid out with the flu for the past week. I've been too dizzy to play Call of Duty or read books, so my only option has been daytime TV. It is truly a wasteland. If Maury is a reflection on society, or even a small part of it, I might as well call it is wrap and jump onto the Eisenhower as I'm not sure a lower form of human life is possible.
Interspersed among DNA and lie detector tests, commercials for ambulance chasers and lump sum cash settlements, I caught some quality local programming, including this gem from WGN. Local singer-songwriter Paul Smith ripped the mic with his hit "Heeeey Bulls" while a bunch of old people clapped. In all seriousness, this was the best thing I saw between the hours of 7am and 6pm over a span of five weekdays (except for the few times I peeped out MFC).
CRAZYTOWN WEDNESDAYS!
Due to the overwhelming success of 'Crazytown Mondays' I decided to extend our coverage to Wednesdays also! Check out these brilliant musicians performing their smash hit single 'Drowning'. Lyrics? -Somebody want lyrics!??:
May 10, 2011
May 9, 2011
CRAZYTOWN MONDAYS: BUTTERFLY
I'm gonna try out a new segment on LOA called "Crazytown Mondays". Basically every Monday from now on I'm gonna post a different hit from the super talented band Crazytown. After each post I create, I will follow it up by either getting some kind of body piercing or nautical star tattoo. Real talk...
FUCK THE POLICE: OFFICER PATRICK LARRISON
Police officers have got to be the most socially malajusted people on the planet. Give someone a badge, a gun and a middle-class income and all of a sudden they turn into Lawrence Taylor... I think it's safe to say that there really aren't too many situations where it's cool to run full speed and tackle a teenage girl. Think about how much of this stuff used to took place before the invention of YouTube and cellphone cameras... Seriously; what a fucking pussy.
(Stolen from Ignored Prayers. Holler at them)
(Stolen from Ignored Prayers. Holler at them)
May 8, 2011
May 7, 2011
May 6, 2011
Murder/Suppository Music
On a related note, what's up with these websites showing cartoons having sex? Is there someone out there who wants to see a graphic depiction of Marge Simpson getting with Ned Flanders? I guess some tasteful nudes of Judy Jetson are probably cool, but the rest of that shit is disgusting.
A blast from the past....
My friend Rick Martinez sent this to me awhile ago and wasn't sure to post it.. but just got all the release papers signed, so enjoy... I'm guessing 1999?
May 5, 2011
Hot Italian-American Girl del Giorno: Lauren Simonetti
My wife asked me why there were 20 episodes of Fox News on the TIVO. See answer above.
May 4, 2011
NU THANG
This is fucking incredible! It contains 2 of my absolute favorite things: horrible singing/ rapping/ dancing, and belief in stupid fairy tales. As it plain to see, our lord has definitely blessed him with the lyrical gift. Praise Jesus! (Shamelessly stolen from Jersey's blog, holler at it.)
MONSANTO IS TRYING TO KILL YOU
Kindof a long video, but basically, the long and short of it is: we're fucked. Thanks deregulation.
May 3, 2011
GEMMA GUESDAYS
I just made up a new day of the week for the sake of alliteration: -Guesday. "Looks like somebody's got a case of the guesdays"....
SON SHOT WHITE SUPREMACIST DAD (-YOU GO BOY!)
Police are trying to make sense of the shooting death Sunday of a well-known white-supremacist leader, allegedly at the hands of his young son. Authorities believe the boy, whose age was not released, did not shoot his father by accident. "We believe it was an intentional act,'' said Riverside police Lt. Ed Blevins. Officials have not speculated about a possible motive.
Jeff Russell Hall, 32, was Southwestern regional director of the National Socialist Movement, a neo-Nazi group based in Detroit. Police were called to his home at 4:04 a.m. Sunday and found a badly injured Hall lying on a couch. Paramedics attempted to revive Hall, but he died at the scene, Blevins said. After interviewing Hall's wife and five children, police booked a minor son on a homicide charge, he said. The boy was booked into Riverside County Juvenile Hall. Riverside County prosecutors are reviewing the case, Blevins said.
Hall's other children were taken into protective custody, he said. A neighbor told the Press-Enterprise that all of the couple's children are under the age of 12. Another neighbor told the paper that the family could be intimidating, noting that at a recent Halloween party, they flew a swastika flag and guests wore KKK hoods. Hall, a plumber, gained attention last year in his failed attempt to win a seat on an obscure water board in Riverside. His campaign was low profile, but Hall was open about his white-supremacist beliefs when questioned."I want a white nation," he told the Los Angeles Times last year. "I don't hide what I am, and I don't water that down."
As regional director of the National Socialist Movement, Hall helped lead demonstrations in Riverside and Los Angeles, where supporters waved swastika flags, chanted "white power" and gave stiff-armed Nazi salutes. Hall also helped organize militia-type watches along the California and Arizona borders, with camouflage-clad volunteers on the lookout for illegal border crossers. On the National Socialist Movement website, group founder Jeff Schoep calls Hall a family man and a "dedicated American Patriot." Blevins said a rifle and handgun were recovered from the home. It appears that Hall died of a single gunshot wound to the chest, but an autopsy is pending, Blevins said.
May 2, 2011
PATRIOTIC-ASS MONDAYS!!
If you think people are hyped now that we've killed Osama Bin Laden, wait until we find Al Qaida's #1 operative Dick Cheney! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
I'M NOT GAY... -BUT THIS SONG IS KINDOF THE JAM (NO HOMO)
I decided to bring back an old feature from LOA, 'I'm not gay but this song is kindof the jam' as a sign of solidarity with our nation's gay peoples fighting for their rights to be recognized as equals under the law.
I don't care how gay this shit makes me seem, this song is dope! Feel free to list some of your favorite Gay Jams in the comments section below. -And don't worry about it, if you just type "no homo" after it it will exempt you from actually seeming like a homo.
I don't care how gay this shit makes me seem, this song is dope! Feel free to list some of your favorite Gay Jams in the comments section below. -And don't worry about it, if you just type "no homo" after it it will exempt you from actually seeming like a homo.
U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
I believe this is a way more fitting venue for announcing Osama Bin Laden's demise. With god's help, American violence shall prevail! -U-S-A! U-S-A!!
May 1, 2011
Obama: Don't Call It A Comeback
As I type this, CNN is showing a guy in a Jozy Altidore authentic leading USA chants while cheerleaders do flips at the White House. I was sort of hoping that they'd catch Bin Laden alive and then let Derek Jeter and Keith Hernandez take a couple of swings for New York. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get back to playing Call of Duty with renewed enthusiasm.
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