HORRIBLE RAP MONDAY: MR. D-NOTE, 'BAD DAY'

What better way to start off another work week than with some shitty Christian rap. Thanks Jesus...

PLEASE LET THIS BE REAL...

A feature film on the lyrical/ musical genius/ creator of the hip hop masterpiece "No More Tears To Cry"!?
 If anyone has any details on wether or not this actually exists/ how can I see it, -get at me.

(Good looking out Jared)

HORRIBLE RAP MONDAY: APOLOGY RAP EDITION

YOU WANNA BATTLE!?? -Well neither does this dude. Look, he feels really bad about that thing he did. So if you catch him slippin out in the streets, please,-PLEASE; we implore you; Please do not punch him in his face. He didn't mean to disrespect you guys. -He's really really really sorry.
Try to forgive him.

HORRIBLE RAP THURSDAY: DEEP THROAT BY JAYBO O.M.G

This man knows what he wants in life. No need for mincing words in this rap song. File under 'not very subtle at all'.

(Good looking out Black Squirrel Aliance.)

YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK TIME IT IS

Shifty Shellshock all up in your ass beeyotch. It's time for another horrible rap weekend y'all:

HORRIBLE RAP FRIDAY: LIL' J.D.

I'm at a loss for words on this one... Help me out.

HORRIBLE RAP TUESDAY: THE X-FACTOR

I think this guy DOES have the 'X-Factor'. That is if the 'X-Factor' is the ability to be completely delusional, and having true mastery of not being able to rhyme words in a musically pleasing fashion. The kid's got something special.

CRAZYTOWN MONDAYS!

Let's get the week started off right!

CRAZYTOWN TUESDAYS!

Due to the overwhelming success of Crazytown Mondays© and Crazytown Wednesdays©, I've decided to extend our Crazytown coverage to inclued Tuesdays also!  I know, I know...-You guy's can thank me later, but for now dive into Crazytown's smash hit single 'Darkside' -It's PHENOMENAL!!!
h

Loss Of Words...

Please help us out...

HORRIBLE RAP THURSDAY: ZIP-ZAP/ CRANK DAT GOPHER BOY

Sometimes I see/ hear something that's so embarrassingly shitty that it sends chills down my spine. This is one of those times:

(Good looking out J-Mart!)

HORRIBLE RAP WEEKEND: NO MORE TEARS TO CRY

Behold! A rap angel has fallen from heaven...

(Good looking out Anonymous!)

Horrible Rap Weekend: Mo Marcash, Mo Problems

The Neiman Marcash movement is unstoppable at this point. This guy is swaggerballing out of control: watching The Honeymooners in the bathroom, wearing sunglasses in a tub, booking hotels on Priceline and dancing on State Street. On top of that, he has 7 label meetings, 4 shows, 4 interviews and a Swedish massage lined up. Kids better buy Marcash's rookie card now, because after 2011 the price ain't coming down.

HORRIBLE RAP WEEKEND: PUTTIN IT DOWN FOR MY BOY J.C. (THE LORD)

Thuggin it out for the lord...-Chicano style. Who knew you could mix latin gangbanging and praising the lord? It's inspired me to create a rather unorthodox mash-up of my own; I'm about to make a chocolate cheesecake and then pour bleach all over it and eat it. You wouldn't think that this combo would work, but trust me folks, it's DELICIOUS!
Praise Jesus

HORRIBLE RAP FRIDAY: PAR-A-DICE

It's phenomenal how quickly I  can lose interest in what someone is saying, especially when it is being rapped lousily over a tedious-ass beat.  It's almost like the part of my mind that gets interested in things literally implodes, the second I start hearing this:

(Good looking out KC!)

Horrible Rap Wednesday: Neiman Marcash

Wow, I thought I kept my ear to these Chi City streets, but I somehow missed the Neiman Marcash movement. Young Neiman put the whole city on his back with this one. He really took things to a new level by filming on location outside of the South Loop's Icon movie theater parking lot. On his Facebook page, Neiman says "ladies say I'm hot like hot sauce," so you know dude has similes for days.

Some confusion in the DMD offices as we can't tell if he's Latino or Assyrian/Armenian and pretending to be Latino. I once worked with a guy called Gino who said his parents were Sicilian. He went so far as to wear Italia track suits and a gold horn necklace. I never bought it as he tried too hard to rep for Italians while bringing hummus for lunch every day. I once caught a glimpse of his driver's license and his real name was Nazar.

Anyway, if boo in the video wants to get with "Downtown's Finest," she should holler at DMD.

HORRIBLE RAP MONDAY: LIL' B

Well, I guess that settles it; -anybody can rap now.  Green light for every no-talent with nothing remotely interesting to say; -go put out a slew of albums.  Who cares, it isn't art, it's just music... (Actually, I'm not sure it qualifies as music either).  Anyways: Introducing Lil B, summa cum laude graduate of the Soulja Boy university of rapping terribly.

(Good Looking out Young Trav)

HORRIBLE RAP WEEKEND; RIFF RAFF

Riff Raff is here to let you know that he stays dipped in "Jacob", but there appears to be some confusion between Jacob the Jeweler and Marc Jacobs. Not only does Riff Raff mistake his flea market "ice watch" for an authentic Jacob & Co. watch, but he also thinks the creative director of Louis Vuitton is a watch maker. Raff misspelling "Mark" Jacobs' name lets you know what you're dealing with here. The ignorance keeps coming as Riff Raff says he stays leaning like the Eiffel Tower- I think he meant the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Anyway, how killer is that BET logo tattoo?

HORRIBLE RAP TUESDAY: JOE SOMEBODY FREESTYLE

LETTING KNOWLEDGE BE BORN... 50-TYSON IS BACK!

If rapping was an event in the Special Olympics, your boy 50-Tyson would be the odds-on favorite to take home the bronze medal. I think part of his charm is that, it's as if this dude is completely oblivious to the fact that he is absolutely terrible at rapping. I'd say the key to him improving would be to first learn how to construct a cohesive sentence. Something where what you're saying at the beginning of the sentence remotely ties into what you're saying at the conclusion of that sentence. Also maybe look into having an overall point to what you're talking about. -That definitely wouldn't hurt either. -Oh yeah, and try to make some of the words in those sentences rhyme with one another.  From what I hear, that's kinda key to "rapping".  Food for thought...