INSIDE THE LOA ACTORS STUDIO: DOUBLE TROUBLE

I'm not sure, but based on this montage of scenes I'm gonna go ahead and assume that this movie was written and directed by an 11 year old boy.
(Thanks to Kid Lover for the link, one of the few examples of him being of any use to anyone, ever)

UPDATE! INTEREST IN DISGRACED BLOGGER 'KID LOVER' REACHES AN ALL TIME LOW

Kid Lover is now virtually irrelevant.  You had a good run kid; thanks for the memories...

BOOK BY ITS COVER VOL. 5

Back by popular demand, its another spectacular psychological thrill-ride into the twisted world of LOA's very own 'Kid Lover'!  Truth be told, Book By Its Cover started out as one of the most beloved features on LOA.  But over time, people slowly stopped giving a shit about Kid Lover and his gothic/ indie-rock misadventures. In an attempt to breath some life into the failing franchise that is the 'Kid Lover' brand, I've decided to add a new twist to this once cherished classic.  This time I will offer some real-life info on disgraced blogger Kid Lover, which will serve as a window into his creepy, disturbing life:
I spoke to Kid Lover on the phone earlier today and, no joke, He asked me if I had any leads on where could buy a hairless cat and stratocaster guitar. -Same conversation, and completely serious.

The rules of 'Book By It's Cover' are the same as always: Basically you have to look at the person pictured above and guess what they're about.  Solely based on their appearance (and the above conversation), what kind of shit are they into? -Music, political views, strange habits, sexual practices etc. Be creative and thorough. The more specific and far-reaching info, the better. Leave your replies in the 'comments' section below.  If you're still stuck on how this thing works, check out the comments from Book By Its cover Vol.1, Vol.2, Vol.3 and Vol.4. They're pretty breathtaking...

BOOK BY ITS COVER VOL.4

Back by popular demand, its another riveting, spinetingling installment of LOA's world-reknown column 'BOOK BY ITS COVER'.  Now I know what you guys are thinking, but let me assure you that this is not a young Nikola Tesla back from the dead, nor is it a Guy Fawkes mask-wearing Occupy Irvine protester who just came from his Urban Outfitters lookbook modeling shoot. Once again, it's LOA's very own, disgraced blogger "Kid Lover", wearing yet another ensemble that is sure to set the internet ablaze!

The rules of 'Book By It's Cover' are pretty straightforward: Basically you have to look at the person pictured below and guess what they're about.  Solely based on their appearance, what kind of shit are they into? -Music, political views, strange habits, sexual practices etc. Be creative and thorough. The more specific and far-reaching info, the better. Leave your replies in the 'comments' section below.  If you're still stuck on how this thing works, check out the comments from Book By Its cover Vol.1, Vol.2 and Vol.3. They're pretty breathtaking...

Take a long look at this brooding wierdo motherfucker. What is this guy up to? What are his thoughts, his dreams... What's going on under that beanie of his?

BOOK BY ITS COVER VOL.3

You guys know what time it is: it's Volume 3 of 'Book By Its Cover'. Once again, LOA's very own disgraced blogger 'Kid Lover', is back with another stunning ensemble that is sure to capture the imaginations of an entire generation of people wasting their lives on the internet.

The rules of  'Book By Its Cover' are pretty straightforward; basically you have to look at the person pictured and guess what they're about. Solely based on their appearance, what kind of shit are they into?: -music, political views, strange habits, sexual practices etc. Be creative and thorough. The more specific and far-reaching the info you give, the better.  Leave your replies in the 'comments' section below.  If you're still stuck on how this thing works, check out the comments from Book By Its cover Vol. 1 and Vol. 2. -They're pretty epic.

Above is the ensemble Kid Lover decided to wear to the watch football with us at the bar on Monday night. I don't want to mislead anyone here, when I say "watch football" I don't remember seeing him so much as glance at the TV for more that a few seconds the entire night. I don't think he knows or cares about anything that has to do with any kind of athletic competition. I saw him try to throw a football once and it was heartbreaking. Imagine a stuck-up rich girl trying to throw a live grenade that's covered in honey.

I think he was hoping that there was a dance floor there so he could show us his new Melbourne hardstyle shuffle he's been working on.

BOOK BY IT'S COVER VOL.2

You guys know the drill, it's Volume 2 of 'Book By It's Cover' coming at you. Once again, LOA's very own disgraced blogger 'Kid Lover', is back with another stunning ensemble that is sure to set the internet ablaze.

The rules of  'Book By It's Cover' are pretty straightforward; basically you have to look at the person pictured and guess what they're about. Solely based on their appearance, what kind of shit are they into?: -music, political views, strange habits, sexual practices etc. Be creative and thorough. The more specific and far-reaching the info you give, the better.  Leave your replies in the 'comments' section below.  If you're still stuck on how this thing works, check out the comments from our previous BBIC feature on Kid Lover from a few months back.

Click image to enlarge and ponder how/ why this is possible on a 80-degree day.

GET BUSY COMMITTEE - OPENING CEREMONY

Directed By Kid Lover, Styled By Snickerdoodles McPizzlePower, Shot by Zabruter.

BOOK BY IT'S COVER: KID LOVER

I'm introducing a new feature on LOA called 'Book by it's cover'. It's pretty self-explanatory; basically you have to look at the person pictured and guess what they're about. Solely based on their appearance, what kind of shit are they into?: -music, political views, strange habits, sexual practices etc. Be creative and thorough. The more specific and far-reaching the info you give, the better. This week's subject is disgraced LOA blogger Kid Lover. Let's get some guesses going in the comments section and maybe if we're lucky K.L. will grace us with one of his Haley's Comet-like appearances on the blog to set the record 'straight' (no homo).

(Click image to enlarge)

Hint: Do a quick search for 'Kid Lover' in the white box in the upper left-hand corner of the blog to see a few of the Kid's pathetic half-assed attempts at blogging over the last year or so... This will give some insight into his creepy-ass personaltiy.

FACE OFF (/FACE ON)

If you're Kid Lover reading this right now, no, this isn't the sequel to the Travolta
/ Nicolas Cage face swap movie. And no, it's not coming out on blueray disc at 
Best Buy next wednesday. It is about a dude who had the bottom 2/3 of his face 
swapped out for a new one and it looks absolutely horrible. I feel really bad 
saying that and wish homie nothing but the best, but yeah... Dude's face is a 
trainwreck. Let's hope they figure out how to do this surgery better in the future; 
-or at least match people up with a face donor who's complexion roughly the 
same as their own...

HORRIBLE RAP TUESDAY: MINI DADDY

A few short months ago i asked disgraced blogger Kid Lover "How come there's no fat little kids dressed in foiled-out Ed Hardy clothes doing reggaeton music?" and his response was "Because that simply just wouldn't work". Well, it will be plainly obvious after you watch this new Mini Daddy video, that he is eating those words as we speak. All I can say to him now is bon appetit motherfucker.

WHITE BABIES

This is gonna sound kindof fucked up and racist, but most of the time, I think white babies look creepy as fuck. I was talking to disgraced blogger Kid Lover about it a few weeks ago and he begrudgingly agreed with me. Now note, I'm not saying this about 'ALL' white babies, -I see some that are perfectly adorable. I'm just saying that most of the white babies I see look like horrible horrible little monsters. This isn't just some rant I'm formulating out of thin air, I've got mad data to support my findings. At one point, while waiting for a Connecting flight in Las Vegas I went like 9-for-9 on my theory. Nothing against them; I'm sure most of them will grow up and look perfectly normal, I'm just saying... White babies a lot of times look creepy to me.

DISGRACED BLOGGER 'KID LOVER' MUSES ABOUT WEARING CONDOMS

BREAKUP ADVICE WITH KID LOVER

Ever-Shakespearian in his discourse, LOA's shamed blogger 'Kid Lover' stumbled into another dagger soundbite the other day. I had the sneaking suspicion that he was pulling a George Michael on us by trying to appeal to our heterosexual sensibilities, but I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt on this one...

DUDE SITS LIKE A LADY: KID LOVER GETTING IN TOUCH WITH HIS FEMININE SIDE

No stranger to absurd, inaccurate statements, shamed LOA blogger 'Kid Lover', regularly has delusions of grandeur. When challenged on his dainty effeminate sitting style, he actually used the occasion to compare himself to JFK. What a fucking fool...

A Formal Apology (to DICKHEAD POSSE)

DICKHEAD POSSE said..."Guess what!!
Kid Lover is now gonna be on the unfortunate end of a BEEF!!!
We can tell, by his shitty cords and pale socks that he is a complete stranger to any and all confrontations, so we have decided (being bullies) that we are gonna start an LA jihad on his ass. HE officially has BEEF with US. Get ready to get FUCKED UP ON SIGHT. BITCH ASS MARK. We are gonna beat you like a fucking Pinata just for looking at us the way you are in that picture. Thank Snickerdoodles for your straight up hard core steady ratpacking.
Welcome to death, Pop-Tart, and FYI there's no way to unfuck yourself outta this situation. faggot. Nice haircut shitface."

Dear DICKHEAD POSSE, I feel like we started off on the wrong foot. Just a little background for you. I have two very close BLACK friends, (Like really black, one has a dad that played basketball, the other one has a dad that's like REALLY from Africa). I studied martial arts (Karate) at a very early age and retired shortly thereafter with a yellow belt (red stripe). I've seen Menace II Society at least 100 times. I even saw that piece of shit, Baby Boy. I may not be from the hood, but i think i get the jist of it. I've definitely bought drugs in the hood. I smoked crack once.

Now, DICKHEAD POSSE, I wanted to touch on a couple of things you mentioned in your comment. First and foremost, i tip my hat to you, you are a warrior poet. I appreciate the fashion advice, the "shitty cords" however were actually faded black denim jeans (distressed, if you will) (I mean c'mon seriously, who wears corduroy in October?? It's not even winter yet, Hellooooo!!!). And much thanks for the "pale socks" mention (they were technically white, but regardless), you will be quite happy to learn that i immediately threw them out, and henceforth, shall only wear black (or dark) socks (what about Argyle? Forget it, I just realized how "faggy" that must sound). Hopefully, these minor adjustments, will help me to become involved in more confrontations. Ideally, i'd like to become a confrontation magnet. Kudos on the BITCH ASS MARK comment! Seriously, i would be so stoked if i could slip that into my everyday vernacular. Like if i could just be like, "I know the Maitre D' here, he's usually pretty cool, but that Sommelier's a BITCH ASS MARK!!"

I noticed you were also none too plussed about my gaze in the photograph, DICKHEAD POSSE. A thousand apologies. I've been told that i suffer from a condition known as Rape Face. It's an expression commonly found on the faces of rapists (or rapers) before they rape somebody. Sadly, i have genetics to thank for this one, but i swear to you, it was not intended as an act of war towards your person, DICKHEAD POSSE.

Snickerdoodles, if i haven't already, Thank you for my straight up hard core steady ratpacking. (Sincerely)

Maybe i'm just a "glass is half full" kinda guy, but i think i can "unfuck" my way outta any situation, Silly Goose!

And that was so weird when you mentioned Pop Tarts, because I still eat Pop Tarts!!! Can you believe it?!? You don't have to say it, i already know what you're going to say, DICKHEAD POSSE!!! You're gonna be all like, "OMG Kid Lover, You're like 31 years old and still eating Pop Tarts!!! How embarrassing, you should be so embarassed!!! That's what little kids eat!!!" Guilty as charged. But what can I say, I love Pop Tarts.

Lastly, I will start researching new hair styles and trends.

There you have it, DICKHEAD POSSE, I feel like the LA jihad on my ass can confidently be removed. I appreciate your constructive criticisms. And moving forward, I will do my best to be on the fortunate end of a BEEF!!! Oh, and I'm sooo not gay! LOL!!!

LOA's KID LOVER UNFAZED BY THE IDEA OF BEING BURIED ALIVE IN AVALANCHE

In a heroic display of bravado, LOA's Kid Lover claimed that the fear of being buried alive in an avalanche, is "for pussies". Having spent extensive periods of time in and around snow, scraping it off his car (while attending art school in Chicago), this Texas native is no stranger to braving the elements. "Snow is light and fluffy" claimed the Lover, "If I was trapped in an avalanche, I'd just brush it off my face and maybe take a nap until somebody dug me out". To drive his point home, he claimed that he's about as scared of being buried in an avalanche as he is being submerged in the ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese. Looks like this disgraced blogger is starting to get his swagger back. Stay tuned for further updates!

LOA QUOTE OF THE DAY:

Useful for little else, LOA's shamed blogger 'Kid Lover' occasionally says something funny.

KID LOVER SUSPENDED FROM LOA!

I'm posting this as if anyone even knew who 'Kid Lover' was; or that he theoretically was a contributor to LOA. For those of you not in the know, 'Kid Lover' is the dead weight that's been lifelessly dragging behind the blog like a human sandbag for the last 6-odd months; amassing a grand total of one uninspired, mediocre, very forgettable post. As of right now, I am hereby putting you on notice, either come through with something to validate your cyber-existence by noon Monday, or be forever banished from Lords of Apathy. Also, your post should include some kind of formal apology to our readers for your heinous dereliction of duty these past months. Seriously dude, get your shit together...

-Snickerdoodles McPoppycock Esq.

TALKING POINTS MEMO: WHO'S HOTTER THAN ROSARIO DAWSON?

During an impromptu debate tournament of hot celeb vs. hot celeb, LOA staffer Kid Lover posed the question "Who's hotter than Rosario Dawson?". Although it seems like there should be an answer to this, I've yet to come up with a solid candidate 24-odd hours later. So who do we got? -I'm baffled. Write answers in the comments below.