This movie promises to be nothing short of awful/ awesome. Mainly because it features one of my favorite 'actresses' Raven Riley. Wait... On second thought, it's most likely gonna be terrible/ unwatchable, but I still kinda wanna see it anyways. Anyone know where I can find this online? Hollabackguuuuuurl.
July 31, 2010
July 30, 2010
FLORIDA CHURCH PLANS 'BURN A QURAN' DAY ON 911
Full disclosure: I fucking HATE Christianity. I pretty much hate almost all religions, but I reserve a special level of disgust and hatred for everything to do with Christianity. Here's one of a about a billion examples I can think of off the top of my head:
REAL TALKER OF THE MONTH: ANTHONY WEINER
YOU GO BOY! A rare instance in our sorry-ass pathetic 'representative government' where one of our representatives is actually earning his paycheck rather than taking bribes from special interests and lobbyists. Anthony Weiner is the real deal Holyfield. Watch as he goes full Wonka* and REGULATES on the Republicans for trying to cock-block health insurance for 911 rescue workers. If only weak-ass President Obama would grow some vertibrae in a similar fashion...
*The only way this could have been any better was if he hit him off with a Willy Wonka-style "I SAID GOOD DAY SIR!!"at the end...
*The only way this could have been any better was if he hit him off with a Willy Wonka-style "I SAID GOOD DAY SIR!!"at the end...
July 29, 2010
July 28, 2010
Define "Growth"
Grown from "horribly awkward kid" to "ghoul"? This story from MSN.com tries to convince readers that Chelsea Clinton has blossomed into a beautiful woman. Seriously? My wife gives everyone the benefit of the doubt and even she says "bitch is gross" when she sees Chelsea on TV. My guess is that when the Kraken wakes up, Chelsea's awful mug will end up saving the day. Nicest thing I ever heard about Chelsea was from Guardian Angels weirdo Curtis Silwa who said she looked like she got hit with a bag of nickels. Bottom line is that she is sub-CHUD by a mile (i.e., dick in a wood-chipper > Chelsea Clinton). However, as her wedding becomes the dominant news event, get ready to read a zillion stories about how gorgeous she is. Who are they kidding?
July 27, 2010
July 25, 2010
Rippin' with the Rickster
Some new videos popped up in my BlackBeachWeek.com RSS feed. I was surprised to see this one featuring my Uncle Rick. He told me he made this dance up for my wedding reception, but I guess this is just some shit he does at swinger parties.
July 21, 2010
HATERS...PIERCINGS...STICKYDRAMA.
"I believe the children are our are future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside. Give them a sense of pride to make it easier. Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be ... " -Whitney Houston
After watching the following video, you'd swear these were the inane ramblings of a crazy lady with a 6K/ week crack habit, rather than those of a sane, drug-free, mentally stable, pre-Bobby Brown Whitney Houston. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's kids acting like shitty adults. Maybe 'tween' is the the more appropriate word to use here considering the word 'tween' is almost as shitty and annoying as what it's actually describing here. "Jealousy much"?? Shut up you stupid little cunt... Go watch the Twilight series or some shit.
(Good looking out Playboy Chansen)
"CONSEQUENCES WILL NEVER BE THE SAME" (Try grammatically wrapping your mind around that one for a sec.)
(Good looking out Playboy Chansen)
"CONSEQUENCES WILL NEVER BE THE SAME" (Try grammatically wrapping your mind around that one for a sec.)
BLISS MAGAZINE X THE 7TH LETTER X CHICKS IN BIKINIS
Blisss magazine, the Bikini issue, featuring artwork by: Revok, Retna, Rime, Reyes, Pose, Saber, Push, Norm, Mac, Risk and Ewok.
BL!SSS Magazine X The 7th Letter X Bikini Issue from MADSTEEZ on Vimeo.
BL!SSS Magazine X The 7th Letter X Bikini Issue from MADSTEEZ on Vimeo.
July 20, 2010
REAL TALKER Du JOUR: ALAN GRAYSON
Guess who's back? -It's our boy A.G.keeping shit real as always. Preach brother:
Who's In For a Road Trip?
"Gallagher up in this bitch tho? Smashing watermelons with the Sledge-o-matic and shit?"
This video is over 17 minutes long, but watching it is sort of necessary. Every time it sounds like they're done announcing the lineup, they list another 20 acts. I thought they named every washed up rapper and Z-lister on the planet when they said Naughty by Nature and Tila Tequila were gonna be in the building, but then they hit you with Todd Bridges, Coolio, Jimmy Superfly Snuka and Afroman. (Was Lumidee unavailable?!) I'm oddly intrigued. No way I could ever actually get on the ground and mix with the people who attend this thing, but I would like to hover above the grounds in the DMD Copter to see what's going on and maybe catch some of Above the Law's set.
IRISH MUSIC IS FUCKING TERRIBLE
From my long list of astute cultural observations; -I'd put Irish music in league with Christian music in terms of truly irritating shitty shitty music. I've been sitting on this one for a while now. I can't stand this shit; it's fucking AWFUL. Truly dreadful dreadful shit. It's terrible.
(Don't bother mentioning that Dropkick Murphys song from 'The Departed' okay?? -It's not enough to disprove what I'm saying here.)
(Don't bother mentioning that Dropkick Murphys song from 'The Departed' okay?? -It's not enough to disprove what I'm saying here.)
July 19, 2010
HORRIBLE RAP MONDAY/ GREEN ENERGY MONDAY : 'GO HARD'
I had this really good idea on how to produce green energy. Basically what it is, is I'd invent these earbud- style headphones with tiny turbines on the inside. How it would work is every time I heard some horrible rapping, the sound would be funneled into the earbuds and the kinetic energy caused by the horrible rap would turn the turbines and produce pure carbon-free green energy. My guess is, at the rate the recording industry is going, we should be off of petroleum-based fuels by thursday. (By the way, nobody steal my idea, that shit's patent pending motherfucker...) (Good lookin' out Playboy Kenny!)
July 18, 2010
Tale of Two Vietnams
Houston voters stay sipping that syrup-- even in the voting booth. Listen as Texas Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee drops knowledge about the "two Vietnams." We had some LOA staffers hit the history books. As it turns out, North and South Vietnam were united 35 years ago.
For those keeping score, Jackson Lee previously demanded that hurricane names be more ethnically inclusive to sound less "lily white," asked a NASA official if the Mars Pathfinder found the flag planted by Neil Armstrong (on the moon), and got herself banned from Continental Airlines for screaming at airline staff about the whereabouts of her seafood meal. She should quit Congress and host Comic View.
July 17, 2010
ASKEW x RIME x REVOK x DABS x MYLA x LOS ANGELES
There seems to be no shortage of really good graf videos these days. Here's another one of them:
RIME x MYLA x ASKEW x DABS x REVOK from Askew One on Vimeo.
RIME x MYLA x ASKEW x DABS x REVOK from Askew One on Vimeo.
July 16, 2010
ELI PORTER IS BACK!!
Eli 'The Peoples' Champ' Porter is back to let all y'all bitches know exactly what time it is. I can't wait for this documentary to come out!
July 15, 2010
The Real Realness (Times a Zillion)
50 Tyson needs to fall the fuck back because this butch Southern lady is here to put you up on real hip hop. She's into points, but these ain't your average points, y'all. I think Apache wrote a song about this woman. Peace, I'm out.
July 14, 2010
HORRIBLE RAP WEDNESDAY: POSSIBLY THE WORST, MOST EMBARRASSING 'RAP' EVER.
They call him "One-take 50 Tyson". Actually, I'm sure nobody calls him that,-other than himself. This dude is seriously giving Soulja Boy a run for his money as far as who can have the least amount of lyrical talent. There was a point in time when this level of 'MCing' would have been an utter disgrace to humanity, -and that point in time was1979. Fast forward 30-odd years later and what have you got? -Motherfucking 50-Tyson. That movie 'Idiocracy' is looking more and more prophetic every day...Good fucking christ... "50-Tyson" really?? What in the sweet mother of fuck are you talking about. I mean, I got that you're a 'ball player" specifically football , and I appreciate you not lying to us about it and all... But seriously, -what the fuck? Why did you need to make a 2-minute Youtube video to tell me that? I think a batch e-mail would have more than sufficed.
QUESTION: To the LOA readers out there, has this kid managed to unseat Soulja Boy as the worst rapper of alltime? And if so, how long before he gets a multi-million dollar record contract? Answers taken in the comments section.
THE GREATEST RAPPER OF ALL TIME.
As an addendum to the above post, I just wanted to show how fucking dope Rakim was 22 years ago. You'd think the trajectory of talent would lead to something noteworthy... Instead we're stuck with a bunch of no-talent assholes like Soulja Boy that make us long for the days of Ja Rule (comparatively speaking)...
R16 B-BOY CHAMPIONSHIPS SEOUL KOREA
These dudes are fucking bananners! Not too shabby editing either
R16 - RESPECT TO THE ILLEST! from Mason Rose on Vimeo.
R16 - RESPECT TO THE ILLEST! from Mason Rose on Vimeo.
HOT ASIAN GIRL DuJOUR: AIRI NAKAJIMA
This is genetic highlight reel material. (roll SportsCenter top 10 theme music.) Seriously what were your parents up to? What leads it something like this just occurring in nature. Kinda makes you wonder...
July 11, 2010
TNT BAND
There's so much that needs to be said about this band, and yet somehow I'm at a complete loss for words... WOW...
XAVIER RENEGADE ANGEL
If you didn't get the memo already, this is hands down, one of the dopest shows on television.
Know about it:
Know about it:
ASKEW x TATIANA SUAREZ x ENUE x JAES x NEW YORK
Another dope Ironlak graffiti video to get your vandal mouths watering. Also, quick side note here: Tatiana Suarez not only is a dope-ass artist, but also appears to be somewhat of a cutie-pie / baby-body as well. (I'm just saying... off the record.)
Recognize more game at:
www.jasonburnz.com
www.askew1.com
ENUE x TATIANA SUAREZ x ASKEW x JAES from Askew One on Vimeo.
Recognize more game at:
www.jasonburnz.com
www.askew1.com
ENUE x TATIANA SUAREZ x ASKEW x JAES from Askew One on Vimeo.
LOA PICTURE OF THE DAY
I just feel like everything about this photo is spectacular. Happy Sunday to you.
July 10, 2010
July 9, 2010
The People vs. LeBron James
People are going ham on Lebron.
Now Clevelands main export isn't just crippling depression, it's also managed to export the best thing that's ever happened to them. I kinda feel Rayvon's pain. Not just because we are both black youth growing up in a white man's world, and not in the sense of me being sad that LeBron left, but the fact that I hate where I live and want people i like to come to Irvine and be depressed alongside me.
Come on guys, Cleveland is GARBAGE. GAAAAARBAAAAAGGE. Im sorry, but it's true. If I could go to a good ass team (no homo) and be on South Beach with hot tanned bitches with g-strings and eat those fluffy cuban pork sandwhiches with that tomato sauce all day... I would go too. So would you. All you LeBron haters are HATERS and you need hugs. Seriously, lets get serious.
Sorry Rayvon.
HOT GIRLS WITH NO CLOTHES ON > SHITTY TOWNS
MULTIPLE NBA CHAMPIONSHIPS > NO NBA CHAMPIONSHIPS EVER
LEBRON GOES TO MIAMI. SUCK IT KOBE.
A few quick points here: first off, despite not being a fan of the Yankees-style buying an out-of-the-box superteam approach, that has been the hallmark of modern sports, the Chris Bosh, Dwane Wade, Lebron James combo seems pretty dope to me right now. On some level, it would have been cool if he had stayed in Cleveland and played the whole small market underdog thing for a while longer, but fuck it... If it means that I get to watch the remainder of Kobe Bryant's prime years in the NBA end in crushing season-ending defeats, then it is well worth it.
To further illustrate how much of an incorrigible dildo Kobe is, and how cool Lebron seems in comparison, watch this:
To further illustrate how much of an incorrigible dildo Kobe is, and how cool Lebron seems in comparison, watch this:
FUCKTARD HALL OF FAME: MEL GIBSON
Right before our very eyes, Mel Gibson is revolutionizing the art of how to be an fucking asshole. Not just in intensity, and sheer perseverance, but by amassing a rich, diversified portfolio of, domestic violence, racism, misogyny, gay-bashing and anti-semitism . Honestly, there's not a whole lot of unexplored territory for this guy left. He'd pretty much have to stab a baby in the face with a rusty boxcutter and bite it's genitals off for him to pad his stats any further. Peep game:
"I will report her to the fucking people that take fucking money from the wetbacks." — phone conversation with ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, about an employee,
"You look like a fucking pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of niggers, it will be your fault." — phone conversation with Grigorieva,
"I am going to come and burn the fucking house down... but you will blow me first." — phone conversation with Grigorieva,
"You know what, you fucking deserved it." — to Grigorieva after she asked, "What kind of man is that who would hit a woman when she is holding a child in her hands, hitting her twice in the face?"
"Fucking Jews... The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world… Are you a Jew?" — to male police officer during 2006 DUI arrest,
"What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?" — to female police officer during 2006 DUI arrest,
"I want to kill him…I want his intestines on a stick… I want to kill his dog." —on New York Times reporter Frank Rich, who criticized The Passion of the Christ, to The New Yorker in 2003,
"I own Malibu… I am going to fuck you." — to arresting officer during 2006 DUI,
"Look what you did to me... look what you are... look what every part of you is... fucking fake... fucking fake… You are the most synthetic person... who the fuck are you?" — phone conversation with Grigorieva,
"They take it up the ass. [laughs, stands up, bends over, points to anus] This is only for taking a shit." —to Spanish newspaper El Pais when asked what he thinks of gays, in 1991,
"With this look, who's going to think I'm gay? I don't lend myself to that type of confusion. Do I look like a homosexual? Do I talk like them? Do I move like them?" —from the El Pais interview,
"I'll apologize when hell freezes over. They can fuck off." —to Playboy in 1995, about whether he'd issue an apology to gays and lesbians, as GLAAD recommended
July 7, 2010
YO! WHAT'S UP WITH YOUR BOY MEL GIBSON?
Everyone's favorite Christian anti-semite is back with yet another epic violent, racist, sexist, mysogynist (possible) career-ending meltdown. Enjoy!:
July 5, 2010
July 2, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)