GOLDMAN SACHS' CRIMINAL CONSPIRACY

Nice job Senator Levin.  Put these motherfuckers under the jail.

UP THERE

I could watch documentary films all day. Especially good ones.
(Lifted from Revok's blog. Holler at him)

FC KINGS -KEO & DASH167

Making graffiti look hella classy.

12ozProphet Presents... KEO and DASH167 from 12ozprophet on Vimeo.

"OH NO HE DI'INT..." (WARNING! DO NOT WATCH IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH)

Aside from being an amazing skateboarder, I had no idea Kevin 'Spanky' Long was also really good at the game solitaire. Watch him play himself harder than anyone I've ever seen before in this makeup commercial... -Baffling.As a man, this was really hard to watch. I don't know which would be more painful: watching Spanky get his manhood obliterated again in this commercial; or watching Spanky literally get surgically castrated. All of us at LOA wish you a speedy recovery; get well soon...

HUMANS ARE THE FUCKING WORST.

We are disgusting scum. We can't have and/or dont deserve good things. We destroy everything that is good or peaceful. Unfucking believable. Its not going to be volcanos or earthquakes that kills the human race off, its going to be us. Self inflicted friendly genocide of greed.

(Good lookin Project Matt)

TEA BAGGER MELTDOWN OF THE YEAR!

This guy's a real piece of work. The magnitude of his hypocrisy makes Stephen 
Baldwin look like an undrafted rookie benchwarmer.

AMAZING HOCKEY FIGHT!

Better than the last 6 or 7 UFC fights.

AND THE WINNER OF THE GOLDEN GLOBES AWARD GOES TO...

Hugh Hefner really blew it not getting J-Lo Hewitt to pose for Playboy back in the
day.  The world needs to know...

FUCK THE POLICE VOL. 4,988

If you haven't heard by now; being a Mexican American in Arizona now gives police probable cause to suspect you of being an illegal immigrant.  It goes without saying that  there is no presupposition that being a white person should give police probable cause to suspect you might be an illegal Canadian or European immigrant. Nor would it prompt police to suspect all white males of  being serial killers, despite overwhelming statistical evidence to justify this... This type of racial profiling is such a heinous injustice, the cop may as well pull down his pants and take a steaming dump directly onto the constitution/ your civil rights while he's at it.
.

LOA'sTUBE TOP TUESDAY RETURNS!

HORRIBLE RAP TUESDAY: DENNY BLAZE (A.K.A AVERAGE HOMEBOY)

Denny Blaze is terrible at rapping.  His flow reminds me of those old illustrations of exotic animals done by someone who had probably never seen the animal they were drawing. It's like somebody described rap music to this dude but he never actually heard it.  He just dove right in and made a demo tape based on very limited information... Either that, or he's the person that writes the jingles for the 'Free Credit Report Dot Com' commercials. 

Also, check out Denny's remix and smoothed-out version of this same cut.

HOMIE PULLS DOWN HIS PANTS AND SHITS RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MALL... BRILLIANT.

I believe the appropriate soundtrack for this video is the song 'Right Here,
Right Now' by Jesus Jones. This dude gets down for his...Do your thang
playboy.

GREAT MOMENTS IN LOS ANGELES WEATHER HISTORY

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT STEPHEN BALDWIN COULDN'T SUCK ANY WORSE...

.
This dude is UNBELIEVABLE... Talk about delusions of grandeur. It's amazing the lengths people will go to using their religion to somehow justify any-fucking-thing they want to do. How absurd is it that this motherfucker is out there trying to pass the cyber-collection plate because his stupid ass managed to somehow be bankrupt and a Baldwin simultaneously... -I mean, that's virtually impossible, -right? I literally had to cash out my change jar this morning, so that I'd have money to eat for the next couple of days. Meanwhile, this dipshit is out here trying to get people to 'Restore' him /his checking account, in the name of the lord... This level of hypocrisy is seldom seen, -even within Christianity. This is no small achievement. In the Christian hypocrisy power ranking brackets, I'm gonna go with Pope Joseph "Ratfucker" Ratzinger for the #1 seed, and Stephen Baldwin #2 .
(Good lookin' out 2pack O'Coors/ Super J!)

CHEMISTRY MUST BE RESPECTED: BREAKING BAD

HOLY SHIT is this show awesome! Seriously, this is in league with 'The Sopranos' and 'The Wire'. Do whatever you need to do to watch this series, Netflix it or download it on iTunes. You will blast through each season in about a week.  Last night's episode of season 3 just got SUPER hectic.  You will not be disappointed, I will stake my reputation on it.

SHOEDINI

SOLD!.. -I'm ordering a dozen of these. I'll pretty much buy anything 

Gilbert Gottfried tells me to...

RIP PINGPING

I was watching "The Amazing Race" (which I thought was just a documentary about Asians) and they had a cameo by He Pingping, the world's smallest man. At 2 feet, 5 inches tall, Pingping took the world record from the Dominican midget who previously held the title. This dude fucking LOVED to smoke. He was on the show for maybe 5 minutes and he smoked through a cigarette that looked about as fat and long (pause) as a toilet paper tube. Turns out this guy died in Italy in March after tragically falling off a curb. Too bad he wasn't around to see his national TV debut.

UPDATE: He actually died from a heart condition.

ROCK OUT WITH YOUR COCK OUT

When Doves Cry

The last time I heard a sound like this, Han Solo was being frozen in carbonite. Also, is that Tracy McGrady in the green jacket?

REST IN PEACE GURU

FATHER AND SON: TIM AND ERIC

One of the best sketch comedy shorts of all time:

TWICE THE JESUS, HALF THE HASSLE

It's must really suck when homeboy wants to trim his bangs, but the other dude wants to grow out his beard... Don't worry about it.

LOA ANIMAL SPOTLIGHT: THE SURINAM TOAD

Surinam toads are most well-known for their remarkable reproductive habits. Unlike the majority of toads the males of this species cannot attract mates with croaks and other sounds often associated with these aquatic animals. Instead they produce a sharp clicking sound by snapping the hyoid bone in their throat.^[1] The partners rise from the floor while in amplexus and flip through the water in arcs. During each arc, the female releases 3-10 eggs, which get embedded in the skin on her back by the male's movements.

After implantation the eggs sink into the skin and form pockets over a period of several days, eventually taking on the appearance of an irregular honeycomb. The larvae develop through the tadpole stage inside these pockets, eventually emerging from the mother's back as fully developed toads, though they are less than an inch long (2 cm

YOU DON'T LOVE ME, YOU JUST LOVE MY DOGGYSTYLE...

Blonde ambition. Meeting of the minds...

VICE PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN POSING WITH THE DECAPITATED HEAD OF MEDUSA

OPEN LETTER TO KEVIN DURANT

ANNIHILATE THE LAKERS!!!!

YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK

Great job guys! You nabbed the infamous hardcore criminal that paints cute little cat faces all over the city!  You must be really proud of such an impressive display of law enforcement- 7 sheriffs in riot gear wielding shotguns! (I'm sure that's not costing taxpayers much).  Except for... um... well... Here's the thing;  although the news has already been judge, jury and executioner here, this guy hasn't actually been convicted of shit. So make sure that when the judge throws this one out of court for lack of evidence,  you guys do a 3-minute, prime-time expose' on that also.

EUROPE IS TAKING THIS ASH CLOUD THING LIKE A LIL BITCH

Proving my point yet again, that Europeans are a bunch of weak ass hoes.

SHE'S NOT 100%, BUT...

For future reference, When you get up to speak in front of a crowd, holding a sign,  I'd go with a strong declarative sentence. -Just an idea... I mean when I see a sign with the word 'probably' in it, I have an automatic reflex to stop giving a shit. Then again, the same is true with signs including the word 'Jesus'.  This enterprise was doomed from the start.

LOA ANIMAL SPOTLIGHT: GIANT AFRICAN SNAIL

The African giant snail, also called as the giant tiger land snail, is the largest snail from its family. The Giant Ghana snail is native to the forest of Ghana, Africa. Those snails are hermaphrodites, like almost all pulmonate gastropods. The shells of these snails grow s to  18 centimeters of length with a  diameter of 9 centimeters, however, there are also bigger examples.

Those snails lives in tropical condition where they do not have natural enemies. Each of those gigantic snails  lays up to twelve hundred eggs per year  that causing a big problem in natural habitat for the other, normal size snails that we have used to.

HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE RAP FRIDAY: TILA TEQUILA

This is fucking awful... Try not to let it ruin your weekend.

(Good looking out Matt F.)

APPARENTLY, JESUS HAD A MONSTER DONG.

Talk about being HUNG on the cross... Read more about it here.

(Click image to enlarge Jesus' massive schlong)

ASIANS KEEP OUT

Thanks to Homey Dog Dave for the find.

LOA ANIMAL SPOTLIGHT: GIANT WETA

Giant wetas are species of weta in the genus Deinacrida of the family Anostostomatidae. Giant wetas are endemic to New Zealand, and are examples of island gigantism.

There are 11 species of giant weta, most of which are larger than other weta, despite already being large by insect standards. Large species can be up to 10 cm (4 in) not inclusive of legs and antennae with body mass usually no more than 35g. One captive female reached a mass of about 70 g (2.5 oz), making it one of the heaviest documented insects in the world ^[1] and heavier than a sparrow. This is however misleading as this individual was unmated and retained an abnormal number of eggs. The largest species of giant weta is the Little Barrier Island giant weta also known as the wetapunga. Giant weta tend to be less social and more passive than other weta. Their genus name, Deinacrida, is Greek for terrible grasshopper. They are found primarily on New Zealand offshore islands, having been almost exterminated on the mainland islands by introduced mammalian pests.

STOP PUTTING BLUE CHEESE IN MY SALADS

Closed circuit to Trader Joes: What the fuck's up with blue cheese? Why put that shit on a perfectly tasty salad? Now every time I get it, I have to pick out all of these nasty little crumbles of dairy mold out of my shit. It's fucking annoying. - And gross.

"SUPPORT OUR TROOPS"

(From Joshua Kors' article 'When the Army Uses 'Enhanced Interrogation" on an American Soldier' on Huffington Post).

I had been covering veterans' issues for several years and thought I'd developed a thick skin. But the pain on the other end of the telephone line was difficult to stomach. Sergeant Chuck Luther, now back from Iraq, was describing his journey to hell and back. The worst part, he said, wasn't battling insurgents or even the mortar blast that tossed him to the ground and slammed his head against the concrete — it was the way he was treated by the U.S. Army when he went to the aid station and sought medical help.

In gruesome detail, Luther described what happened to him at Camp Taji's aid station. He thought he would receive medical care. Instead he was confined to an isolation chamber and held there for over a month, under enforced sleep deprivation, until he agreed to sign papers saying that he was ill before coming to Iraq and thus not eligible for disability and medical benefits. "They wanted me to say I had a 'personality disorder,'" Luther told me.
Luther's call did not come out of the blue. For two years I had been investigating this personality disorder scandal: how military doctors were purposely misdiagnosing soldiers, wounded in combat, as having this pre-existing mental illness. As in the civilian world, where people can be locked out of the insurance system if they have a pre-existing condition, soldiers whose wounds can be attributed to a pre-existing illness can be denied disability benefits and long-term medical care.
My reporting began with the case of Specialist Jon Town, who was wounded in Iraq, won a Purple Heart and was then denied disability and medical benefits. Town's doctor had concluded that his headaches and hearing loss were not caused by the 107-millimeter rocket that knocked him unconscious but by a pre-existing personality disorder.The spotlight on Town prompted military doctors to step forward and talk about being pressured by their superiors to purposely misdiagnose wounded soldiers. One doctor spoke of a soldier who returned from Iraq with a massive chunk missing from his right leg. The doctor quit after he was pressured to diagnose that soldier as having personality disorder.Since 2001 more than 22,600 soldiers have been discharged with personality disorder (PD), saving the military billions in disability and medical benefits.
My articles on the scandal sparked a Congressional hearing, a Law and Orderepisode, and before leaving office, President Bush signed a law requiring the Pentagon to investigate PD discharges. In the wake of those developments, I was flooded with calls from soldiers who had fractured bones and been pierced by grenade shrapnel, only to be told that their wounds came from a problem with their personality — a pre-existing illness that had somehow gone undetected with each military screening and only popped up now, after they returned wounded from combat.
Luther was one of thousands severely wounded in Iraq and Afghanistan now facing a lifetime without medical care. I had spoken to dozens of soldiers in his shoes. But his call haunted me. He sent me photos of the isolation chamber. It was the size of a walk-in closet and was crammed with cardboard boxes, a desk and a bedpan. Armed guards monitored him 24 hours a day. Luther told me how they stopped him from sleeping, keeping the lights on and blasting heavy metal music at him all through the night: Megadeth, Saliva, Disturbed. When he rebelled, Luther was pinned down and injected with sleeping medication."This was an aid station," he said, "but it felt a lot more like enhanced interrogation than medical care."After a month, Luther was willing to sign anything — and did. Soon after he signed his name to a personality disorder discharge, he was whisked back to Fort Hood and informed about a PD discharge's disastrous consequences. No disability pay, no long-term medical care, and because he didn't serve out his contract, he'd have to pay back a portion of his signing bonus. "They told me I now owed the Army $1,500."I would spend the next two years investigating Luther's case: reading the stacks of medical records written by Luther's doctors, which document his confinement; talking with a fellow soldier who visited Luther during his month in the aid station; and interviewing his commander, who confirmed all the details.
This week Sergeant Luther's hellish struggle is featured on the cover of The Nation. As word of his story and the larger personality disorder scandal spreads, my phone is ringing again, this time with people asking what they can do to help these soldiers. I tell them: Share the article with friends, family, colleagues, your representatives in Congress.

America needs to know what is happening to our soldiers

MPC MUSIC; EGADZ

Dope!

HOT ASIAN GIRL DuJOUR: YUKA MIZUSAWA

Yuka is looking so right...  Fuck Traffic school.

HE IS RISEN!

Check out Jesus' rock hard abs on this incredible balloon sculpture rendition of the crucifixion... Motherfucker is RIPPED!

FUCK THE POLICE VOL. 4,927

When these assholes aren't intimidating, harassing and brutalizing minorities and college students,  they're wasting our tax dollars by pulling me over for supposedly not coming to a complete stop at a stop sign... Fuck your laws and fuck your traffic school. Also, closed circuit to all lady cops, I hope you get your tits and vaginas shot off in the line of duty.  Fuck all y'all.  
Police are the scum of the earth.

HUMAN CENTIPEDE

Based on this trailer alone, this is shaping up to be the movie of the century!! I'll see you there opening night!

(Good looking out Kingpin Ronin!!!)

Ukrainian Sand Art

In the US, we spend our free time drinking cough syrup and playing video games. Not so in Eastern Europe where they stay honing crazy talents. The halftime show at the last Bulls game was two Slovakian brothers doing flips through fire, and before that was a Russian gymnast who set some kind of hula hoop record. This video shows the winner of Ukraine's Got Talent. Not a surprising win since the other contestants were a dancing bear and a Putin impersonator. Anyway, this is pretty banana. As an aside, if you threw some D's on this lady, she'd really be in business.

GET DEAD AMERICA

Hows your bed treating you? Maybe you'd be more comfortable in a hospital bed? I present to you the latest in greatest in artery clogging material. THE DOUBLE DOWN via America's most trusted restauranteur Colonel Sanders. I'll give anyone 20 bucks who eats 2 of these fucking things.

Good lookin Etan.

HOT ASIAN GIRL DuJOUR: SAYAKA ISOYAMA

The Catholic church is chock full of deviant sexual predators. Sayaka Isoyama is super hot. Two unrelated points.

(Click image to perv in high res.)

MONSTERS WALK AMONG US...

Fuck this dude...

LOA Caption Contest

Winner gets deez nuts. Seriously, though, let's hear the captions.

DENGUE FEVER; SNI BONG

The singer Nimol Chhom is about the cutest thing ever.

PETE ROCK ON THE MPC

This is hip hop
.

GUNKANJIMA; JAPANESE GHOST ISLAND

Off the westernmost coast of Japan, is an island called "Gunkanjima" that is hardly known even to the Japanese. Long ago, the island was nothing more than a small reef. Then in 1810, the chance discovery of coal drastically changed the fate of this reef. As reclamation began, people came to live here, and through coal mining the reef started to expand continuously. Befor long, the reef had grown into an artificial island of one kilometer (three quarters of a mile) in perimeter, with a population of 5300. Looming above the ocean, it appeared a concrete labyrinth of many-storied apartment houses and mining structures built closely together. Seen from the ocean, the silhouette of the island closely resembled a battleship - so, the island came to be called Gunkanjima, or Battleship island.

Eventually, the mines faced an end, and in 1974 the world's once most densely populated island become totally deserted. The island, after all its inhabitants departed leaving behind their belongings, became an empty shell of a city where all its peopl disappeared overnight, as if by some mysterious act of God.

Click images to enlarge. Check out more of Rydcoco's awesome photos of Gunkanjima on his Flickr page.

Panther Woods

Thanks to EDouble for the link.

FUCKING RAINBOWS, AFTER IT RAINS

I hope you weren't counting on the ICP slowing down anytime soon. They're not afraid to switch shit up and get deep on you. Do you know how magnets work? Didn't think so...

CANDLE BUKKAKE

REAL TALK SIGN

Priorities...

Asian Boy Will Always Love You

You think this kid walked into the barber shop and said "give me the Curious George"? Anyway, I'm trying to get him to sing the chorus on my next single. If you're his agent, get at me!

LOA's PATHETIC SELL-OUT Du MOIS: KEVIN JACKSON

This dude needs to kill himself. 

YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK; COLLATERAL MURDER

WikiLeaks has released a classified US military video depicting the indiscriminate slaying of over a dozen people in the Iraqi suburb of New Baghdad -- including two Reuters news staff. Reuters has been trying to obtain the video through the Freedom of Information Act, without success since the time of the attack. The video, shot from an Apache helicopter gun-site, clearly shows the unprovoked slaying of a wounded Reuters employee and his rescuers. Two young children involved in the rescue were also seriously wounded. For further information please visit the special project website collateralmurder.

ASAMI TADA IS FLAWESS

The pinnacle of human evolution:

Don't Tip Guam!

It's not in the video, but Rep. Hank Johnson went on to warn the admiral not to sail off the end of the Earth.

Solid Potato Salad

Take My License (And All That Jive)

Last night I decided to take a break from drinking root beer and playing Modern Warfare 2 to re-watch State Property on DVD. It stars Beanie Sigel and a bunch of third-tier rappers who had some connection to the Salad Days Era Rocafella. Wow did some of these guys waste their chances or what? Anyway, for those who haven't seen it, it's just a bunch of awful acting and gangster movie cliches. It didn't hit me the first time, but the climactic courtroom scene in State Property was bitten straight from Sammy Hagar's "I Can't Drive 55" video. Maybe Lil Romeo and Mike Epps can do a straight-to-Blockbuster version of "3 Lock Box."

CHRIST-LIKE CRUSIN (I'M NOT JOKING)

Hey B-Shoc, guess what the world does not need? Go on, take a guess... The answer is: A FUCKING 5-MINUTE LONG RAP SONG ABOUT YOU DRIVING AROUND WITH JESUS IN YOUR SHITTY LITTLE LIME GREEN DORKMOBILE. What I don't get is why even bother trying to be cool and mega-christian at the same time? Pick one of those things and go nuts dude, but please spare me the awkward cultural crossover. It's beyond painful. My guess is that if Jesus did come back probably one of the absolute last things on his 'to do' list would be hanging out with you and your dumb car. Jesus wouldnt give a fuck about you or your terrible rapping. In fact, I bet he'd be pissed that you ever conceived of doing something so phenomenally stupid in his name.

HOT ASIAN GIRL DuJOUR: ASAMI TADA

I believe this is Asami's 4th H.A.G.D.J award since October, -probably the most of anyone on the blog. Seriously... What the fuck?  

(Click images to perv in hi-res)

RADICAL ISLAM

ACADEMY AWARD WINNING MOVIE TRAILER

ALL THE WAY TURNT UP

NEW LOA CATHOLIC PEDOFILES SCREENSAVER!

In a shrewd P.R. move, ex-Nazi, Pope Joseph Ratzinger, has decided to unveil the Vatican's new Youth "Outreach" Program. This was done in an effort to detract from the Pope's/ the church's sordid history of exonerating Catholic priests who are known statutory rapists.

(Click image to enlarge/ drag to desktop/ screensavers folder.)

LOA PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: '1000 CATS'

Anyone see that '1000 Cats' performance by Brett Gelman on HBO's Funny or Die last week? Jesus Christ... That shit was phenomenal! Any of you internet savvy nerds out there know where I can find this video online so I can repost it on LOA?  Holler-back.

-Snickerdoodles